I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
