I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
