mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
