i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
