I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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