If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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