I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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