She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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