i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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