I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize