Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i believe in u and ur pee
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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