Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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