It's Friday. Sex?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
