MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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