I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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