I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize