She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
