I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Less talking, more tequila
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize