I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
