you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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