I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
