my vag is so smooth its legendary
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
