I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
