Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
