People in love make me want to vomit
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
