i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
