stop calling my apartment porn island.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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