new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
