PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize