...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
