you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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