She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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