There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think your dad took our porno
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
