So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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