i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
