Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
