dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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