You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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