Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
