What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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