I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
