Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
