i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
