with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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