Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
