She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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