it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
