Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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