Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
