i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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