One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
