carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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