sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
