Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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