I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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