Non-Jews are for practice
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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